Life can be hard. It’s true. These past three weeks have been more than hectic for me, as I have spent nearly all the time in the Mass General Hospital in Boston. I have been suffering from sporadic neurological attacks which effect my ability to think, talk, and to use the whole right side of my body. The first time this happened was about three weeks ago, and my family rushed me to the emergency room terrified and unsure of what was happening.
Eventually, the attack subsided and I again gained control of my brain. I could move and talk normally, but the doctors still couldn’t tell what was wrong with me. They were considering diseases such as MS or Lyme, but the tests kept coming back negative which was good but also worried us. What could be causing these attacks? After many days of ignorance, the doctors came back with an answer: I had mycoplasma pneumoniae which infected my central nervous system causing encephalitis. My brain was inflamed. It was good to finally know what was wrong with me, but it was also scary. After putting me on medication, I was finally sent home from the hospital after a ten day stay. I was very glad to be home, but I was still experiencing some tremors and other bad signs. This wasn’t reassuring. After two days of being home, my body gave in to another attack. This one wasn’t subsiding. We again rushed to the ER and it all started over. Why wasn’t the medication working? Would I ever recover from this attack? It took almost 48 hours for me to regain my voice and my arm remained very weak. The doctors decided to try to put me on steroids, which, thankfully, have seemed to be working. I have had no other attacks since that last one, and I don’t plan to have another anytime soon. My voice remains slow even now, and my arm is still recovering, but I believe that I will fully recover over time. Okay, so I will survive this. But sometimes I find myself asking why God let it happen in the first place. Why did he let me go through so much fear and pain? Did it do me any good? Well, yes. It did me much good. On one of my three ambulance rides, I did some thinking and recalled asking God for a trial a few days before. Something that would build my faith. Something that would draw me closer to God. Well, guess what? This certainly did that. During these past three weeks, I have felt the Holy Spirit inside me more than I ever have before. I felt his comfort during the pain, and his peace during the fear. It has been miraculous. At the hospital, I asked God for a rainbow in the sky, and the next morning there was a rainbow. God doesn’t always answer prayers this obviously, but, for whatever reason, he chose to this time. I am still in awe. Our God is a kind, loving god. Let’s put our faith in him, because life can be hard.
4 Comments
EBA
3/11/2017 06:29:05 am
God is sooo faithful and you are an inspiration.
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3/12/2017 04:55:02 pm
That was really inspiring, Caleb! I'm praying for you and I'm so glad that God is helping you see the good through the hard times. :)
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KC
3/13/2017 05:15:24 am
So good to have you back online, Caleb! And what a beautiful thing to share with us, and a reminder that the rainbow is always a sign of God's undying love for us. May He speed your recovery!
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Caleb JamesHi! Welcome to my blog. Get my free eBook!Categories
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